Review: Aneros Evi, The Kegel Kettlebell

OVERVIEW: Ultimately, I’m not going to pick up the Evi if I want to have a quick, easy orgasm, but I have been picking it up quite frequently to exercise my very important pelvic floor.

  • Overall Bang for the Buck: 4/5
  • Aesthetics: 5/5
  • Durability: 5/5
  • Kinkiness: 1/5
  • Comfort/Ease of Use: 3/5
  • Realism: N/A
  • Care/Cleanliness: 5/5
  • Partner Play: 1/5
  • Self Love: 4/5
  • The Big “O”: 3/5

 

I’ve been thinking it forever, and I’m just going to go ahead and say it: there need to be kettlebells for vaginas.

Luckily, I’m not the only one to think this.

There are loads of devices out there made just for exercising your pelvic floor, but the Aneros Evi stands out from the crowd. I’m a sucker for sexy science, which is why I love Aneros brand so much: every product they make is built using anatomical calculations and medical grade silicon, and the Evi, their pelvic floor exerciser, is no exception.

Your Vaginal Muscles, Via Wikipedia

Your Vaginal Muscles, Via Wikipedia

The Evi is made to fit right inside your vagina, snuggled up close to your G-spot, which worked great for me as far as fit. I also really love the satin feel of the Evi and found it slipped in me easily with little lube needed. However, according to the reports from others, you’re supposed to be able to do Kegel or pelvic floor exercises and get off, but I couldn’t.

Just like my arms would if I picked up a kettlebell and tried to do 100 lifts, my vagina exhausted trying to get itself off and I had to lend it a helping hand.

I was sad to find out that my pelvic floor tired so easily, and I’m giving the Evi marks for bestowing this knowledge onto me and encouraging me to keep exercising my important muscles.

Why is your pelvic floor important?

  • It keeps us from peeing our pants, which is good because I’ve ruined a few pair of underwear laughing with my blogging life partner, Dead Cow Girl, over mundane stuff like booze and blow jobs.
  • It helps you during childbirth (I don’t have to worry about that one).
  • Orgasms are muscle contractions, so having stronger muscles helps you have more intense orgasms!!

While I’m happy to be exercising those muscles, I still would like to be able to get off with this toy. Unfortunately, the phalange that goes on the outside and is supposed to hit your clit came just a bit too short for me to feel the sensation that the Evi promised when lying down and thrusting forward.

Our anatomy is pretty great.

Our anatomy is pretty great.

However, I did find it highly entertaining to walk around with the Evi inside of me, and my clit thoroughly enjoyed the Evi during our long late night romantic walks on the beach together. I also really liked sitting up with the Evi in and rocking back and forth on my bed.

But both actions still required me to stimulate myself in other ways to get off.

Ultimately, I am happy to have a toy that encourages me to strengthen my pelvic floor, but I’m going to pick something else up if I’m looking for a quick and easy orgasm.

Also, bonus points for creating a toy that looks like the Starship Enterprise.

Boldly go!

Boldly go!

 

Would you like to see a visual review of this toy? Check out my Quickie with Queerie YouTube review!

About Queerie Bradshaw

Lauren Marie Fleming is a writer, speaker and motivator known for her intimate, informative and often hilarious look at sex, relationships and body-image. Lauren runs the critically-acclaimed QueerieBradshaw.com blog, writes for major news sources including VICE, Nerve, Huffington Post and Curve, and is the author of her memoir Losing It: My Life as a Sex Blogger. In 2013, Lauren founded Frisky Feminist Press (FriskyFeminist.com) as a way to enhance conversations about sexuality through educational guides, online classes and entertaining publications. A law school graduate, Lauren has spoken all over the United States and is internationally recognized for her dynamic, engaging style. In everything she does, Lauren’s goal is to educate, remove stigmas and encourage people to achieve their desires.
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