These past couple of weeks have been a bit more challenging than from when I first started this healthy challenge a month ago. It’s crazy how I can wake up in the morning with all the motivation in the world, but as the day goes by, it slowly dwindles away falling back to my old habits at the end of the day. Sometimes, it feels like I can’t control myself. It’s not easy being honest about this because it feels embarrassing to admit losing control. But if I’m going to be honest about the struggles I go through during this healthy challenge in order to see my mistakes right in front of my face as I write about them, then I will be honest to the core.
For these past two weeks, I woke up every morning asking myself “What good can I do for my body today?” And I would excitingly answer “Stick within my Weight Watcher points and get half hour of exercise!” But as the day dragged on, my answer went to “Well, it’s kind of cold out so I’ll exercise tomorrow during the day. I don’t have time to cook since I have a final paper to write and a final exam to study for. I’ll drive by the McDonalds dollar menu and start fresh in the morning.” I easily forget how stress can twist my way of thinking and planning. During finals week for my class, I didn’t want to step in the kitchen to cook my healthy dinners because I wanted to stay in my room the whole time to study. And of course my easy way out to not cook is going straight to fast food. Fast food is my ultimate repercussion. I wish it didn’t exist because it’s always my last resort to not cooking my healthy meals. The healthy part of a fast food menu doesn’t even exist to me. If I’m going to get fast food, I’m going to get burger and fries, not some “healthy” salad with light dressing.
But it wasn’t like that every day. I’m becoming more and more conscious about what I’m doing to my body that I begin to feel guilty for not following through with this healthy challenge I promised myself I would do. It became a teeter-totter of good and bad days mixed in with walking for exercise. The one thing I know how to do right is walk. Even if I had six bad days out of the fourteen, I knew that I could get up and walk just to get my heart pumping at any moment. And I did just that. Even if it was just for 20 minutes, I grabbed my sneakers and walked at the beach.
Somehow I managed to lose 3 pounds in this crazy up and down struggle and I strongly believe that it had to do with my walking. Ever since I trained myself to do my first 5K race earlier this year, I’ve come to realize how quick my body changes for the better when I incorporate exercise. I know walking may not be much for others who run and bicycle or whatever high-intensity exercise they do, but for me in the size I am, it has a tremendous affect. Even my mom knows how important it is. She saw me wake up early to go walking three out of the four days I was visiting her and she said to me “Nunca dejes el ejercicio mija. Es muy importante.” (Never stop exercising, sweetie. It’s very important.) I think she was a little impressed at my continuous effort to get exercise in for the day and that made me feel very proud of myself.
Now that finals are over and Christmas is coming up, I honestly feel no fear to the holiday treats that will embrace my presence. I feel like I have a whole new way of thinking as I get ready to pack my bags and visit my family for the holidays. I no longer see the foods that are associated with my visits to Brawley as a threat. I have nothing to stress about, my schedule has re-opened to commit more time to healthy meal planning and exercise, and I really want to start the beginning of the year with a 30 pound loss to show that I did something really good for myself in the year of 2011. Will I make it? Or will the pressures of holiday treats be too much? Come back in two weeks to find out!! In the meantime, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
Beginning Weight: 25 more pounds to lose and you’ll know!
Current Weight: Fat chance!
Exercise: Walking – one step at a time!
Total Loss: -25 pounds