New Strip Club Opening in Portland, a.k.a. The Most Hipster Place You’ll Ever Visit

There’s a new strip club opening this weekend in Portland, Oregon that will officially be the most hipster strip club that has ever existed.

The new club, named Loof Lirpa and located in SE Portland, will:

  • Be dog friendly, with discounts for people who bring in a rescued pit-bull
  • Serve vegan, gluten-free food
  • Feature strippers who will also be barristers serving cold-brewed or Chemex coffee from small organically farmed beans they roasted in house
  • Offer local craft beers and cocktails
  • Be ran by an anarchist cooperative full of intersectional feminists
  • Offer a discount if you bring your own Mason jar
  • Play all of the music on vinyl
  • Have only bike paths to get there, no roads
  • If you walk there, you have to do so on stilts
  • Offer eggs from chickens in the backyard behind the club
  • Provide lube in the nudey booths made from the milk of the goats that share the backyard with the chickens
  • Have a giant disco ball, made from recycled glass
The Most Hipster Strip Club Ever

My Mock-Up of The Most Hipster Strip Club Ever

We can’t wait to visit the place!

(P.S. Happy April Fools Day!)

 

About Queerie Bradshaw

Lauren Marie Fleming is a writer, speaker and motivator known for her intimate, informative and often hilarious look at sex, relationships and body-image. Lauren runs the critically-acclaimed QueerieBradshaw.com blog, writes for major news sources including VICE, Nerve, Huffington Post and Curve, and is the author of her memoir Losing It: My Life as a Sex Blogger. In 2013, Lauren founded Frisky Feminist Press (FriskyFeminist.com) as a way to enhance conversations about sexuality through educational guides, online classes and entertaining publications. A law school graduate, Lauren has spoken all over the United States and is internationally recognized for her dynamic, engaging style. In everything she does, Lauren’s goal is to educate, remove stigmas and encourage people to achieve their desires.
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