There’s a new strip club opening this weekend in Portland, Oregon that will officially be the most hipster strip club that has ever existed.
The new club, named Loof Lirpa and located in SE Portland, will:
- Be dog friendly, with discounts for people who bring in a rescued pit-bull
- Serve vegan, gluten-free food
- Feature strippers who will also be barristers serving cold-brewed or Chemex coffee from small organically farmed beans they roasted in house
- Offer local craft beers and cocktails
- Be ran by an anarchist cooperative full of intersectional feminists
- Offer a discount if you bring your own Mason jar
- Play all of the music on vinyl
- Have only bike paths to get there, no roads
- If you walk there, you have to do so on stilts
- Offer eggs from chickens in the backyard behind the club
- Provide lube in the nudey booths made from the milk of the goats that share the backyard with the chickens
- Have a giant disco ball, made from recycled glass
We can’t wait to visit the place!
(P.S. Happy April Fools Day!)