Pride: The Long Road Home, a.k.a. Moving in with My Parents

Sometimes you just encounter so many roadblocks in the journey of life that your only real viable option is to turn around and go back from which you came.

Around the mid-October, I decided it was time to move home. My savings were running low, I was striking out everywhere I looked for a job, I wanted to keep writing but couldn’t afford it and, to be honest, after all the death, illness and sadness in life lately, I really wanted to be near family for a bit. Two weeks later, when the horrible news that my brother’s cancer was back and better (read: worse) than ever, I knew the decision I made was the right one.

Yet, knowing that I made the right choice didn’t make the execution of that decision any easier. For the last few weeks I was in Portland, I cried every time I was alone; and unfortunately sometimes when I was not. It was difficult for me to think, organize or plan anything because I had no clue where I was going and for how long I would be there.

With the help of D.E. and some wonderful friends, I managed to pack up my apartment, put almost all of my things in storage and drive the 1,418 miles from Oregon, the place in which I feel most myself, to Southern California, the land of deep-rooted childhood insecurities.

Portland, Oregon to Brawley, California

I’ve gone from a forest to a desert, a major city to a rural farming town, a life of independence to being held accountable for where I’m going and what I’m doing.

Oregon Duck pride while out in my dad's fields picking lettuce.

I feel lost in a sea of “maybes,” completely void of my usual life compass that not only knows what my next port of landing is but has twenty alternative port options and the rations to get me there in case I change my mind.

In other words, I have no idea where I’m going from here.

About Queerie Bradshaw

Lauren Marie Fleming is a writer, speaker and motivator known for her intimate, informative and often hilarious look at sex, relationships and body-image. Lauren runs the critically-acclaimed QueerieBradshaw.com blog, writes for major news sources including VICE, Nerve, Huffington Post and Curve, and is the author of her memoir Losing It: My Life as a Sex Blogger. In 2013, Lauren founded Frisky Feminist Press (FriskyFeminist.com) as a way to enhance conversations about sexuality through educational guides, online classes and entertaining publications. A law school graduate, Lauren has spoken all over the United States and is internationally recognized for her dynamic, engaging style. In everything she does, Lauren’s goal is to educate, remove stigmas and encourage people to achieve their desires.
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4 Responses to Pride: The Long Road Home, a.k.a. Moving in with My Parents

  1. Jessenia says:

    It takes a lot to out of a person to finally realize what is the best thing one can do for oneself. I think you made the right decision and I’m sure your family is very thankful to see you again – for a longer period of time this time around. Even if you’re not sure where to go from here, when you have the opportunity to clear your mind and be around nothing but loved ones, is when you make the best decisions :o) I love living in Oceanside, but I’m sooo jelous you get to spend so much time there before your next steop. Good luck :o)

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