Dear Queerie Bradshaw,
You’re a lesbian, right? So why do you like transmen and women who look like men? Doesn’t that defeat the whole point?
Confused Straight Girl
I actually get that question a lot and the simple answer is that no matter how much T (that’s code for testosterone) a transman takes, he’ll still know what I mean when I say I hate my fucking cramps. He’ll know why I feel unsafe walking home late at night by myself. He’ll know how my body responds to touch because his body responds, or at the very least used to respond, to the same kind of touch.
A lot of the attraction to women for me is that shared life experience. So while trans, androgynous, gender-queer and butch people may no longer present, see themselves as or be feminine, there still is that attraction for me to the shared female experience, even if they no longer completely share it with me.
I’m also very attracted to people who break gender barriers. Maybe it’s because I’m so gender-conforming, but I find myself more and more pulled towards female bodied people who look male. Just as a straight woman wouldn’t necessarily be able to explain fully why she prefers large muscular men to other body types, I can’t fully explain why I find myself drawn to womyn that look like men.
I just am. And that is ok.