My ex is kinda famous.
At the time when we were dating, I loved this. I was that girlfriend that totally bragged about how my partner was X from Y. Sure, my parents and friends back home had no idea what Y was and how that made X kind of a big deal, but people in the queer scene totally drooled over the fact (just like I did) that I was dating X from Y.
Now that X doesn’t talk to me, having dated a semi-famous person actually sucks. I see Y everywhere. Which is great, Y is an awesome thing that people should write articles about and share pictures of and contribute money too, but every time I see one of those pictures or articles or donation requests my heart sinks a bit farther into my chest.
“Fuck X!” I yell to my heart as it painfully retreats, “And fuck Y too! They’re both stupid poo-poo heads.” That works for a little bit, but since calling someone a stupid poo-poo head hasn’t really made me feel better since I was five, I just end up feeling like a depressed pile of shit.
What do you do when you see your ex everywhere? How do you handle the constant reminder of your failure?
For me, I just remember that there’s a reason we’re not together and that reason goes deeper than just “I suck at relationships.” As wonderful as X is and as noble as Y is, the whole rest of the alphabet played into our relationship and none of the words we created seemed to make sense at the time.
Or something along those lines. I don’t know, I may have taken that metaphor too far.
What I’m trying to say is, the only way I know how to not hurt every time I see something related to my kinda famous ex is to remember that I am not a failure because my relationship failed and that I can be happy for X and Y without negating my pain over my break up.
Then when that fails, I make diabolical plans to be more famous and successful than X.
And then when that doesn’t work, I go back to calling X a poo-poo head.