Relationships: What Do You Do When You See Your Ex Everywhere?

My ex is kinda famous.

At the time when we were dating, I loved this. I was that girlfriend that totally bragged about how my partner was X from Y. Sure, my parents and friends back home had no idea what Y was and how that made X kind of a big deal, but people in the queer scene totally drooled over the fact (just like I did) that I was dating X from Y.

Now that X doesn’t talk to me, having dated a semi-famous person actually sucks. I see Y everywhere. Which is great, Y is an awesome thing that people should write articles about and share pictures of and contribute money too, but every time I see one of those pictures or articles or donation requests my heart sinks a bit farther into my chest.

“Fuck X!” I yell to my heart as it painfully retreats, “And fuck Y too! They’re both stupid poo-poo heads.” That works for a little bit, but since calling someone a stupid poo-poo head hasn’t  really made me feel better since I was five, I just end up feeling like a depressed pile of shit.

Hey look, it’s crying poop! Via


What do you do when you see your ex everywhere? How do you handle the constant reminder of your failure?

For me, I just remember that there’s a reason we’re not together and that reason goes deeper than just “I suck at relationships.” As wonderful as X is and as noble as Y is, the whole rest of the alphabet played into our relationship and none of the words we created seemed to make sense at the time.

Or something along those lines. I don’t know, I may have taken that metaphor too far.

What I’m trying to say is, the only way I know how to not hurt every time I see something related to my kinda famous ex is to remember that I am not a failure because my relationship failed and that I can be happy for X and Y without negating my pain over my break up.

Then when that fails, I make diabolical plans to be more famous and successful than X.

And then when that doesn’t work, I go back to calling X a poo-poo head.


About Queerie Bradshaw

Lauren Marie Fleming is a writer, speaker and motivator known for her intimate, informative and often hilarious look at sex, relationships and body-image. Lauren runs the critically-acclaimed blog, writes for major news sources including VICE, Nerve, Huffington Post and Curve, and is the author of her memoir Losing It: My Life as a Sex Blogger. In 2013, Lauren founded Frisky Feminist Press ( as a way to enhance conversations about sexuality through educational guides, online classes and entertaining publications. A law school graduate, Lauren has spoken all over the United States and is internationally recognized for her dynamic, engaging style. In everything she does, Lauren’s goal is to educate, remove stigmas and encourage people to achieve their desires.
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