Rethinking Social Media, a.k.a. Good news: I’m Keeping Twitter, Bad news: I’m Unfollowing Almost Everyone

Since I took my sabbatical from social media in November, I’ve tried to stay off of it as much as possible, and let me tell you, it feels good.

So good, in fact, that I decided to take a whole year off of the thing. Which feels amazing. Especially Facebook. Fuck Facebook these days. They’ve somehow made it so you don’t get any of the information you want and all of the drama you can do without.

I haven’t missed a single thing about Facebook.

But I have missed Twitter.

Not missing it in the way I used to, as this thing I obsessively check, but missing the connection it gives me to my community.

On a typical day, I’m with toddlers, farmers, needlepointers, shoppers, chefs, paralegals, tea drinkers, nurses, people with lives and jobs that are wonderful but so far from mine that it is hard to connect about work.

One of my best friends these days.

One of my best friends these days.

Twitter is my place to get knowledge and ask for help, and that is an important resource for someone in a field as taboo as sex.

In the same way I kept Instagram because it aligned with my core desired feeling of being connected to the people and things that I love, I have decided to keep Twitter.

However, because my past use of Twitter was obsessive, I’m implementing goals to keep me and my Twitter feed focused.

My new Twitter goals:

    • Be a place people get links to relevant work in the field of sex, sexuality, gender and gender identity.
    • Amplify the voices of people I admire.
    • Respond to posts I like in length on the site I found it, not on Twitter.
    • Keep the people I follow under 500, anything over that and I miss important things in the white noise.
    • Keep it off my phone and check it only once a day on my computer. Retweet and tweet from HootSuite (where I am less likely to stare at the screen for hours).
    • Stop tweeting personal things that aren’t 100% relevant to Queerie Bradshaw as a brand.
    • Don’t tweet or be on Twitter when I’m around Alex, family or friends (unless they are also on there, e.g. at a conference with Mona Darling or while making vagina pancakes with Epiphora, RedHead BedHead and Queeroschino Cherry).
    • Stop live-tweeting events I attend. Be present.

I’ve enlisted friends and colleagues to help keep me aligned with these goals, so I feel confident that I will keep them.

What are some of your social media goals? Need help keeping yourself on track? Let me know, I’m happy to help!


About Queerie Bradshaw

Lauren Marie Fleming is a writer, speaker and motivator known for her intimate, informative and often hilarious look at sex, relationships and body-image. Lauren runs the critically-acclaimed blog, writes for major news sources including VICE, Nerve, Huffington Post and Curve, and is the author of her memoir Losing It: My Life as a Sex Blogger. In 2013, Lauren founded Frisky Feminist Press ( as a way to enhance conversations about sexuality through educational guides, online classes and entertaining publications. A law school graduate, Lauren has spoken all over the United States and is internationally recognized for her dynamic, engaging style. In everything she does, Lauren’s goal is to educate, remove stigmas and encourage people to achieve their desires.
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8 Responses to Rethinking Social Media, a.k.a. Good news: I’m Keeping Twitter, Bad news: I’m Unfollowing Almost Everyone

  1. Angie says:

    I took FB and Twitter off my phone, hoping that would cut down on my mindless scrolling and distraction, but now I’m just on my laptop more. I want balance. I love my online friends, but I need to do so much in my tangible world too. This is so tricky for me. I applaud your efforts to be present.

  2. I love how aware you are being in this whole process of what parts of each outlet affect you in which ways. It’s so interesting to see you dig deeper than “social media is a time-suck” or “I need social media for what I do” and actually dissect the ways you use social media and the cost/benefit ratio of engaging on various levels.

    That was a long way of saying “you’re awesome, let’s eat more pancakes together”


      Oh and yeah, more social media too. Thank you for recognizing the journey. I’m trying to live consciously and by my core desired feelings, which you’ll hear all about in our Desire Map group!

  3. I am loving watching you do this…and hoping to start some less is more soon~

  4. I’m glad you’re staying on Twitter. When I read about your break for the year, I was stunned thinking about being without Twitter. It really keeps me connected to the people who get me.

  5. Pingback: Facebook Now Allows Custom Gender and “They” As a Pronoun, a.k.a. I’m About to Confuse the Hell Out of People in My Hometown | Musings of a Frisky Feminist and Politiqueer

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