Seven Signs You’re a Sapiosexual, a.k.a. Intelligence is Sexy

You guys, I have a confession to make. I’m a sapiosexual.

Sapiosexual, n. One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.

I only found this term out recently, and I was (not at all in any way) shocked to find out it is so! Turns out, sapiosexuality can lead to things like being an uppity feminist killjoy, using words to express your outrage, and wanting to eat out people’s brains.

Things are making so much sense now. It’s like my whole childhood is coming into place. Do you also have this dangerous attraction?

Sapiosexual Definition


Here are seven signs that you might be a sapiosexual.

1. You’ve got a thing for librarians.

I'd go straight for Giles.

I’d go straight for Giles.

2. You get off on reading, and not just erotica.

GotoBedWith Good Book


3. You’ve ever said something like this:

“If I can’t connect with you in an intellectual way, I can’t enjoy sex with you.”

“We joke that I’ll only date someone with a PhD, but it’s true, I can’t date someone unless they’re highly educated.”

“The thing that turns me on most about you is your brain.”

4. You want to kiss someone not because of their voluptuous lips, but because of the words coming out of them.




5. You don’t get mad when your partner goes out for groceries and comes back with books.

Books cover

6. You’re turned on by the size of someone’s library.


7. You’ve ever gotten off on someone actually talking nerdy to you.

Mila Talk Nerdy


What are some other ways your sapiosexuality has presented itself? Mmm do tell. In written details with large words fit for the SATs.

About Queerie Bradshaw

Lauren Marie Fleming is a writer, speaker and motivator known for her intimate, informative and often hilarious look at sex, relationships and body-image. Lauren runs the critically-acclaimed blog, writes for major news sources including VICE, Nerve, Huffington Post and Curve, and is the author of her memoir Losing It: My Life as a Sex Blogger. In 2013, Lauren founded Frisky Feminist Press ( as a way to enhance conversations about sexuality through educational guides, online classes and entertaining publications. A law school graduate, Lauren has spoken all over the United States and is internationally recognized for her dynamic, engaging style. In everything she does, Lauren’s goal is to educate, remove stigmas and encourage people to achieve their desires.
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10 Responses to Seven Signs You’re a Sapiosexual, a.k.a. Intelligence is Sexy

  1. Michelle says:

    Oh God, this is relevant. I was once having sex with someone and staring off at his library during the act. He was concerned that I was bored and not really into it…I was just really into the fact that I was fucking someone with the Collected Poems of Rilke and what have you.

  2. Sarah PL says:

    Listening to my Joey talk about wanting me to document the rebuild of his engine in his truck, then having him explain every step as he completed it was one of the best things I’ve ever experienced. I’m not really into getting greasy and taking apart engines, or replacing head gaskets but honey-child… He can use that brain, and those hands on my engine anytime.
    It’s just plain sexy listening to him get excited about being up to his armpits, covered in grease, and then seeing his eyes light up when that motor fires up on the first try. So. Damn. Sexy. *shiver*

  3. inurashii says:

    You know, if this term were ‘sapiophilia’, I’d have no problems with it. ‘Sapiosexuality’ casts it as a sexual orientation, which is, IMO, appropriative.

    I wrote some thinks on this subject on my tumblr.

    • Good linguistic point there. A quick Google search shows me that sapiophile is a term as well, at least according to Urban Dictionary. I’ve only ever heard people referred to as a Sapiosexual, though. I was confused by your wording. Do you mean that you feel sapiosexuality is appropriating sexual orientation? Or did you feel that sapiosexuality is not an appropriate term linguistically?

      Either way, I’d be interested in reading your blog post on it. Do you have a link?

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  7. truspirit says:

    I just finished reading a new frend’s memoir manuscript and I’m cerebrally gaga. Last week we decided we’ll become lovers (both of us are in open marriages) after he finishes reworking the first half do his book for publishing. A steamy make out session ensued in his railroad apartment after he did a lusciously glam and nerdy film noir inspired photo shoot of me and we drank just enough wine. Oh and did I neglect to mention that I’m his astrologer? #wetrenaissance

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