You guys, I have a confession to make. I’m a sapiosexual.
Sapiosexual, n. One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.
I only found this term out recently, and I was (not at all in any way) shocked to find out it is so! Turns out, sapiosexuality can lead to things like being an uppity feminist killjoy, using words to express your outrage, and wanting to eat out people’s brains.
Things are making so much sense now. It’s like my whole childhood is coming into place. Do you also have this dangerous attraction?
Here are seven signs that you might be a sapiosexual.
1. You’ve got a thing for librarians.
2. You get off on reading, and not just erotica.
3. You’ve ever said something like this:
“If I can’t connect with you in an intellectual way, I can’t enjoy sex with you.”
“We joke that I’ll only date someone with a PhD, but it’s true, I can’t date someone unless they’re highly educated.”
“The thing that turns me on most about you is your brain.”
4. You want to kiss someone not because of their voluptuous lips, but because of the words coming out of them.
5. You don’t get mad when your partner goes out for groceries and comes back with books.
6. You’re turned on by the size of someone’s library.
7. You’ve ever gotten off on someone actually talking nerdy to you.
What are some other ways your sapiosexuality has presented itself? Mmm do tell. In written details with large words fit for the SATs.