In March, I’m on the opening keynote plenary panel at Catalyst Con East (you can use code “QUEERIE” for $10 off registration), a conference intent on “sparking communications about sexuality.” For the keynote, I’ve been asked to talk about how I’m moderating conversations about sex, and that gave me the idea to start a series of sex questions of the day.
I’m no sure how long I’ll be doing this, but let’s all aim to have a conversation a day about sex (not including weekends – you need time off to have sex) until the start of Catalyst Con East on March 14, 2014. How does that sound?
I’m just going to assume you’re all in. I like the power this one-sided conversation thing gives me!
Come out at play!
Our first question of the day: What did/do you have to overcome to feel sexy naked? #SexQOTD
It’s only fair to answer the questions I, so here’s mine:
I had to overcome the idea that I am unlovable and undesirable because I am fat. I had to accept that fat was an adjective and not an insult/hinderance to love. I just submitted an article to Kinkly, all about the things that helped me feel confident in my sexual self, and I’ll share it when I get a chance. Until then, check out my piece on six steps that’ll help you love your naked self.
Let’s talk! Leave your answer to the QOTD here or tweet it to me @QueerieBradshaw.
I had to realize that some people actually find people like me attractive. Also realizing that some of these people weren’t reducing me to a series of rate-able body parts.
Ah yes, that last one is always a hard one to realize! I always try to remember to judge myself as a whole, the way I judge others.
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Usually I am fairly happy with my body overall. But I tend to look at a few details with too much critical judgment. Focusing on the details I don’t like keeps me from feeling sexy. I have recently discovered something that helps me to feel pretty sexy. When I undress at night I can see my own reflection in the window. It is not as sharp and harsh as an actual mirror, so I can’t see the details I don’t like. Instead it is a slightly blurred and more forgiving reflection. I think this helps me see my body more as a whole and keeps me from focusing on the details I don’t like.
What has also helped is a great partner, who loves me and my body and actually even especially loves some things I don’t like (yet). And who has never said a negative word about my body ever.
Cheers to having a great partner. It makes all the difference in the world. I love the window reflection idea. I’ll have to try that!
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Honestly, I feel sexiest naked. It’s when I have clothes on and am out in public I have a harder time feeling sexy. I feel more judged then. But alone or with a partner in my place and naked I feel f**king hot.
That’s great to hear. I love it when people feel sexy naked.
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