Now that I’m single again, I’m going to make the most of it and try to sleep my way through my semi-celebrity hot list. (To be fair, since I was in an open relationship I could have done it before, but it’s more fun when you’re single.)
While I’d obviously love some Maddow action or a threesome with Portia and Ellen, semi-celebrities are a lot more plausible and honestly a lot more exciting.
Here are 7 people I’d be happy to spend the afternoon with and extremely happy to spend the night with.
- Jiz Lee – Yes, Jiz Lee is mega-hot, but beyond that, I’ve got the biggest intellectual boner for Jiz (who goes by gender-neutral pronouns of they/them). Their Karma Pervs project – which donates online pornography sales to local nonprofits – is inspiring, their blog posts are educationally enticing and they were so adorable during the taping of Life Sex Show I can’t help but think Jiz would be a great person to chat with about the politics of fisting while playing Ms. Pac Man.
- Hannah Hart – I’d get drunk in her kitchen. Food, booze and hot lesbians. Can it get better than this? We’d laugh, we’d cry, we’d cook, then we’d make out. I must make this happen.
- Adepero Oduye – I don’t know if she’s actually gay, but here’s hoping. I haven’t actually had a chance to see Pariah, the film in which she plays a queer teen questioning her identity, but the stills make my heart and loins both swoon in one big happy ball of sexual desire.
- Melissa Ferrick – Ok, this one might be too famous for me, but hey, she’s hot and going on my list. I love that she’s a sober musician. We’d go get tea then make out.
- Allison Weiss – To be honest, I had no idea who Allison Weis was until the Autostraddle.com interview with her. Now I want to have her babies and then have all of her albums. Maybe albums first then babies. Either way, sex would be involved.
- Mars Hobrecker – Another one I found via Autostraddle (they know all the sexy people), Mars is super queer and a super talented photographer.
- The Shondes – Yes, I realize this is a whole band, but I couldn’t pick just one so I’m going with a group thing here. Hey, I like to dream big.
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Who would be on your semi-celebrity to-do list?
