You all know D.E. and I broke up but you probably don’t know (because I haven’t talked about it on here) that I’m currently trying to win zir back. What you also don’t know (because I don’t really talk about it ever) is that I’m an emotional wreck from the events of the past year and have no desires (despite stating the contrary in posts) to sleep around.
They’re both firsts for me. I’ve never won someone back and I’ve never not wanted to sleep around. Usually I’m the one leaving relationships, not trying to mend them, and I’m always the one looking for sex. The combination of the two has made me come to terms with the fact that my showerhead might be the closest thing I have to a partner in a very long time.
Now, before you go to the automatic assumption that I use the showerhead as a sex toy, I ask you to remember who you are talking to. Remember the 50 dildos? Or the Fling? Or the multitude of other sex toys I own? I’ve got plenty of sexual options, so why are they not my new girlfriend? The answer: warmth.
Sex toys may get me off but nothing warms and massages me like my new showerhead. While I’m sure it would offer such services wonderfully, I have yet to use it sexually, but I do sit for long periods of time feeling its hot, heavy pounding on my shoulders and lower back. It envelopes me in a sense of security and relaxation only a good hug can compare to and since I only hug my sexual partners naked, it’s the closest thing I’ll have to that in a long time.
Which is why my new showerhead (that I need your help naming) is my new girlfriend. Until D.E. and I get back together or I’m ready to move on, it’s the closest thing to a naked hug I’m going to get.
And I’m ok with that.
For those who are curious, here are some other very heartwarming features of my new place, the kind of features that make me happy to have a place all to my own to call home again.
So, what should I name my new showerhead girlfriend? Do you “date” your showerhead?