The Sinful Misadventures Gift Guide: Yummy, Sexy Gift Ideas

When my mother asked me for Christmas gift ideas, all I could think of were dirty things I could never pull out of my stocking in front of my father. Soon thereafter, however, I came up with some ideas for food I would love to have. Thus started the Sinful Misadventures gift guide. Here’s a list of what I’d like for Christmas and what I think the sexy foodies in your life would like as well.

Before I start the list, however, I’d like to take a moment to encourage you all to shop small, independent businesses, especially ones located in your area. Additionally, I’d like to encourage you to minimize our cultural dependency on “stuff” and go for one really thoughtful present this year instead of a multitude of junk to pile up in landfills.



Yummy Ideas

For the cheese lovers in your life, grab an Urban Cheese Craft cheese-making kit. I have one of these things and love making fresh goat cheese with herbs whenever I want it (you can get the right goat milk at most Trader Joes).

For the truffle fans in your life, grab some truffled almonds, the greatest thing I’ve ever found at the grocery store.

For the chocolate purists in your life, try some Endangered Species Dark Chocolate with Cacao Nibs. I eat a square (or 5) of this stuff every night.

Or better yet, order some chocolate sourdough bread from Zingermans. This stuff is amazing, especially with Zingerman’s most amazing Virginia Peanut Butter.

Sexy Ideas

For the G-spot loving folks in your life, grab the Fling, my all-time favorite sex toy. This thing made me ejaculate for the first time and I’ll always love it for that.

For the straight couple in your life, give the gift of romance (porn) with a DVD from the Romance Series. Not only do they have some of the most realistic sex scenes you’ll see in porn, the acting and plot are relatively decent. I haven’t seen them all, but Lost & Found is my favorite of the ones I have seen.

For the geeky, sci-fi men in your life, try an alien vibrating shaft slider. I’ve never seen one in person, but I’ve wanted one of these things for awhile.

For the dykes, lesbians and queers in your life, try a year subscription to The Crash Pad Series, QueerPornTV, NoFauxxx or Juicy Pink Box. Prefer the hard copy? Try a bundle of some of my favorite porns: the original Crash Pad DVD, Taxi Episode 1, Billy Castro Does the Mission and Tight Places: A Drop of Color.

Other Ideas

For the home owning Mad Men fan in your life, install a retro-styled Big Chill refrigerator.

Already have a fridge? Maybe go for one of Big Chill’s dishwashers or stoves. I particularly love the Buttercup Yellow.

For the April Ludgate emo teen in your life, may we suggest a Sneaker Painting Kit from Uncommon Goods. I wonder if this would work on canvas strap-ons…

 

**Disclosure policy statement: It is Sinful Misadventures’ policy to notify our readers if an item we write about was received at a free or discounted rate. While we received no financial compensation for this post, we do receive a commission if you buy something from some of the sites linked. We have also received some of the items above for free in the past to review. However, it is our policy to only endorse items or services we like, no matter what we paid for it.

 

About Queerie Bradshaw

Lauren Marie Fleming is a writer, speaker and motivator known for her intimate, informative and often hilarious look at sex, relationships and body-image. Lauren runs the critically-acclaimed QueerieBradshaw.com blog, writes for major news sources including VICE, Nerve, Huffington Post and Curve, and is the author of her memoir Losing It: My Life as a Sex Blogger. In 2013, Lauren founded Frisky Feminist Press (FriskyFeminist.com) as a way to enhance conversations about sexuality through educational guides, online classes and entertaining publications. A law school graduate, Lauren has spoken all over the United States and is internationally recognized for her dynamic, engaging style. In everything she does, Lauren’s goal is to educate, remove stigmas and encourage people to achieve their desires.
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