For My Brother, Andrew Joseph Fleming, November 21, 1986 to November 5, 2012

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Funeral Blues by W.H. Auden

My brother’s love Megan, my brother, my sister and me, right before his most recent surgery.


About Queerie Bradshaw

Lauren Marie Fleming is a writer, speaker and motivator known for her intimate, informative and often hilarious look at sex, relationships and body-image. Lauren runs the critically-acclaimed blog, writes for major news sources including VICE, Nerve, Huffington Post and Curve, and is the author of her memoir Losing It: My Life as a Sex Blogger. In 2013, Lauren founded Frisky Feminist Press ( as a way to enhance conversations about sexuality through educational guides, online classes and entertaining publications. A law school graduate, Lauren has spoken all over the United States and is internationally recognized for her dynamic, engaging style. In everything she does, Lauren’s goal is to educate, remove stigmas and encourage people to achieve their desires.
This entry was posted in Featured, Off Our Chests and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to For My Brother, Andrew Joseph Fleming, November 21, 1986 to November 5, 2012

  1. I am so sorry Lauren! This has been one of my favorite poems for a long time…thank you for sharing such beauty, even in such a painful dark moment. I’m sure it reflects the beauty of your relationship with your brother. 🙁

  2. I don’t know what to say: but if you were here. I’d hold you the entire day.


    I am so very sorry.

  3. nikkiana says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your brother. Peace be with you and your family in this time of grief.

  4. Momo Fali says:

    I must just now be seeing this because I held my cousin’s hand as she lay dying on Wednesday night; diagnosed with cancer two weeks ago. Her funeral was yesterday. She was 41 years old. I am so sorry that you are suffering right now. I hope that in our lifetime people will be able to stop telling these sad stories. Much love to you and yours.

  5. Pingback: Navigating Sex After Grief | Welcome to, A Site for Frisky Feminists & Politiqueers

  6. Pingback: Sex: Bi-Curious, aka I’m Thinking About Sleeping with Men | Welcome to, A Site for Frisky Feminists & Politiqueers

  7. Pingback: Wilted Orchids, Deep Roots a.k.a. How to Plan for a Funeral | Welcome to, A Site for Frisky Feminists & Politiqueers

  8. Pingback: The Familiarity of Emptiness, a.k.a. May He Rest in Peace | Welcome to, A Site for Frisky Feminists & Politiqueers

  9. Pingback: Become a Citizen of Hope | Embrace the Risqué

  10. Pingback: So Long, Farewell, auf Wiedersehen, Adieu, a.k.a. The Transfer from to | Embrace the Risqué

We'd love to hear what you think... Leave a comment!