Queerie Me: How Real is Most Lesbian Porn? (plus porn suggestions!)

Dear Queerie Bradshaw,

I’m a straight male that likes to watch lesbian porn. How real is most lesbian porn? What is the thing that most infuriates you when watching girl-on-girl scenes?

Curious Straight Guy

Dear CSG,

I remember the first time someone gifted me lesbian porn. It was something about girls with drills and a mechanic shop and I was very excited until I watched it and saw some of the worst scenes I’ve ever seen. Even my little kinderqueer, inexperienced self knew better than to think that boob fondling and pillow fights were all us lesbians did. And I definitely knew that long fake nails painfully inside of me and tongues barely touching my clit wasn’t going to get me off as hard as these girls were pretending to get off. To this day, fake nails and fake cunnilingus are the two things that infuriate me the most about lesbian porn scenes.

Sure, some people get off on this kind of porn, but when I watch porn, I want to see people fucking in realistic ways and actually enjoying themselves, not just playing it up for the camera. For that reason, I’ve sought out more realistic porn, especially porn that’s made by lesbians for lesbians – or even better by queers for queers. For real lesbian sex, don’t go looking at the Hustler store, check out queer sex-positive stores like Good Vibrations instead.

My first ever queer porn video was The Crash Pad and I still recommend it all the time. Dylan Ryan’s orgasm is inspiring and made me regret not getting to know her better the few times I came across her while I lived in SF. Courtney Trouble also makes some great queer porn (including two of my faves Billy Castro Does the Mission and Live Sex Show) under Trouble Films, NoFauxxx.com and QueerPorn.Tv, which she runs with Tina Horn. However, Courtney Trouble and Shine Louise Houston, creator of The Crash Pad series, tend to both head in the hardcore direction. If you’re looking for something a bit more mainstream or soft-core yet still sexy, try Juicy Pink Box (also read our piece on how owner Jincey Lumpkin gets flack for being so mainstream and how we think that’s wrong).

So, CSG, that’s the long answer to your question. The short answer is: whether you’re watching realistic lesbian porn or not depends on what you’re watching. For the real stuff, stick to the experts.

Happy watching,

Queerie Bradshaw