Question of the Day: How often do you have sex? #SexQOTD

Leading up to my keynote panel at Catalyst Con East – where I will be talking about sparking conversations in sexuality – I’m going to try to start some sex conversations here on the blog and on Twitter. To learn more about this project, check out the original post.

This is Day 3. Check out the rest of the days here on the blog or use the hashtag #SexQOTD on Twitter.

Day 3’s Sex Question: How often do you have sex?

If I define sex broadly, which I almost always do, I have sex about twice a week on average. Some weeks we have sex four or five times, and some weeks we don’t have sex at all. My partner has a lower sex drive than I do, so often we’ll have sex by assisting each other in masturbating (“loving assist” as Dan Savage calls it), and that has helped us have sex more frequently, without the pressure of feeling like we have to take more time or energy for something other than a quickie. But we also make sure to block out time for lying in bed exploring each other in intimate ways, because we both believe that’s important to our relationship.

Let’s talk! Leave your answer to this QOTD here or tweet it to me @QueerieBradshaw.

About Queerie Bradshaw

Lauren Marie Fleming is a writer, speaker and motivator known for her intimate, informative and often hilarious look at sex, relationships and body-image. Lauren runs the critically-acclaimed blog, writes for major news sources including VICE, Nerve, Huffington Post and Curve, and is the author of her memoir Losing It: My Life as a Sex Blogger. In 2013, Lauren founded Frisky Feminist Press ( as a way to enhance conversations about sexuality through educational guides, online classes and entertaining publications. A law school graduate, Lauren has spoken all over the United States and is internationally recognized for her dynamic, engaging style. In everything she does, Lauren’s goal is to educate, remove stigmas and encourage people to achieve their desires.
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3 Responses to Question of the Day: How often do you have sex? #SexQOTD

  1. J.Anna says:

    At the moment I don’t have partnered sex as often as I would like, because my partner does not live in the same City as I do. So I have a weekend filled with partnered sex about every three weeks or once a month. Having only a limited time together does lead to a bit of pressure to “use this time well” and have a lot of sex during a weekend together. Sometimes this is great but sometimes this can be a problem when one of us (or both) don’t really fell like it. We try to be very aware of this and not let our limited time pressure us. Better to have little, but great sex, than a bit more, but not really enthusiastic sex.
    I also feel like this situation is keeping us from experimenting and trying new things. It seems like we stick to pretty much the same routine. We know this will very likely bring both of us satisfaction, so we don’t take the time and risk to try something new, because it might not work immediately and we don’t have the time to try again in a couple of days.

  2. Sara says:

    About twice a week. I wish there was more, but schedules and responsibilities get priority. We supplement with dirty sexting which has led to sharing fantasies and trying some new stuff the next time we get together.

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