Seven Sexy Things to Do With Your Tax Refund

Taxes are a pain in the ass, but like it or not, they’re due today for Americans. If you’re one of the lucky people who got tax refunds (I owe this year – being self-employed is not always sunshine and porn), here are some suggestions for what to do with that extra cash.

1. Save it.

Seriously. To me, one of the sexiest things anyone can do is plan for the future and be fiscally responsible. Here are things I try to have money set aside for (key word try, as a writer, it’s very difficult to have a money buffer):

    • Trips.
    • Retirement (it’s never too early to save for that).
    • A homestead with loads of goats and chickens.
    • A rainy day.

I also try to pay off my debt when possible. Check out Suze Orman’s tools for some tough love advice and help on financial planning. She has a great way of figuring out if you can actually afford to buy something.

2. Have a Staycation

If you’re going to spend that money, spend it on something amazing, like staying in and taking care of yourself. Here are some ideas:

    • Book a hotel room. Raid the mini-bar and watch cheesy in-room movies.
    • Get yourself some of GoodVibe’s body-safe, sex-initiating body rubs, bath bombs and massage bars. Whether used alone or with a special friend, they’re a great way to take your relaxation to a new level.
    • Grab yourself a massage or acupuncture treatment.
    • Visit a local place you’ve never seen. Travel your city like a tourist.

3. Buy Some Quality Porn

Most free stuff on the Internet is crap and steals its content (with the exception of WoodRocket), so you should avoid it. Instead, this tax season treat yourself to some quality porn. Here are some of my favorites:


4. Get a New Book

I’m a sapiosexual, so I think reading is sexy and often spend extra cash on new books. If you’re looking for some ideas for must-read queer literature (or Qliterature as I call it), check out this post on the subject.

I’m also a big fan of audiobooks and recently really loved Elizabeth Gilbert’s Signature of All Things, which isn’t necessarily about sex but has some brilliant commentary on it. It’s long but worth it.

From NYTimes Book Review. Main character from Signature of All Things.

Also, the Harry Potter series on audiobook is the best thing that’s ever happened to my ears.

5. Grab Some Outdoor Gear

Ok, so my inner dyke is shining through with this one, but seriously, the weather is getting to be perfect for spending all day every day outside.

    • Buy a National Parks Pass. Two people can sign it so you can share it with a friend or your partner! The pass is good for one car and you can put as many people in that car as you want, so fill your Subaru to the brim and go explore.
    • Pretty much anything at REI is a justifiable purchase in my opinion. Choose a new sport to try this summer!
    • Buy a bike. I highly suggest adding some streamers to its handlebars. They make me feel like I’m going so fast.
    • Check out these outdoor adventure ideas on Pinterest. Also, I highly suggest the book Glamping by Mary Jane for those who, like me, like to femme it up while roughing it.
My kind of camping.

My kind of camping.

 6. Upgrade Your Sex Toy Collection

Give your bedside table a bit of an upgrade with some of my favorite toys:

7. Donate to Your Favorite Charity

Start your tax breaks for next year now while supporting important causes. If you need ideas of great places, here are some I love and support:

Also check out the massive giveaway JoEllen Notte (The Redhead Bedhead) is doing on her site as a fundraiser for her friend with cancer.


Click on the image and you can go to the giveaway fundraiser.

Well those are all of my ideas. How are you planning on spending your refund?

About Queerie Bradshaw

Lauren Marie Fleming is a writer, speaker and motivator known for her intimate, informative and often hilarious look at sex, relationships and body-image. Lauren runs the critically-acclaimed blog, writes for major news sources including VICE, Nerve, Huffington Post and Curve, and is the author of her memoir Losing It: My Life as a Sex Blogger. In 2013, Lauren founded Frisky Feminist Press ( as a way to enhance conversations about sexuality through educational guides, online classes and entertaining publications. A law school graduate, Lauren has spoken all over the United States and is internationally recognized for her dynamic, engaging style. In everything she does, Lauren’s goal is to educate, remove stigmas and encourage people to achieve their desires.
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